Battle of the Bills

The people of Macedonia are in a constant battle with their currency--the denar. The current exchange rate of the denar is roughly 54 to the dollar (in case you were wondering). That probably tells you something about the economy, but seeing all of those digits in my bank account sure does make me feel rich anyway.

There are 1, 2, 5, 10, and 50 denar coins that nobody ever wants to be in possession of. And if they do come into ownership of a few, their goal is to dump them on the first unfortunate individual they get the chance to. I won't lie, I've deliberately partook in this inane activity as well. But mostly in a positive way, I think, by paying with exact change when I can. Like everyone else, I am simply not a fan of the coins--except for the 50 denar coins. Those silver disks of denar are downright dope. Probably because you can actually buy something with them and you're not weighed down by carrying a battalion of coins with you. Plus, there's no jingle jangling going on in your pockets while you're walking, which some people may like but I'm not a big fan of. I find that it interferes with my ability to ninja.

Remember when I said there were 1, 2, 5, 10, and 50 denar coins? These are it.

The banknotes are even worse (not for ninjaing, for the currency battle). There are 10, 50, 100, 500, 1000, and 5000 denar notes. Nobody ever has anything larger than a 1000 denar note though. Actually, nobody ever has anything other than a 1000 denar note. And these people that carry around their 1000 denar notes are constantly trying to get change for it or obtain smaller notes in some conniving way. They'll buy a burek and small carton of yogurt (a common breakfast combination) for 70 denars and pay with a 1000 denar note. Then they expect the person behind the counter to have change for them, which they never do because I don’t know why. Still, people are always paying with these larger notes, which wrecks havoc on the tills at these establishments. The cashiers end up having to run around to a few stores in the area in order to get the necessary change to give the paltry patron.

Consider yourself lucky. Most people never see one of them there 5000s. I've only ever seen one myself.

For the customer, this is better than going to the ATM if you ask me. You get a product you want, plus you are able to get rid of a hefty 1000 denar note and gather a temporary collection of smaller bills (for your sake, hopefully there were no coins given to you with your change).

Unlike the coin situation, the practice of paying for excessively small purchases with excessively large bills is one that I do not participate in (except for at bus stations). Having seen the dire need for smaller bills, I usually only withdraw 100s and 500s from the ATM unless I'm expecting to spend over 1000 den somewhere. Boy, are people happy to see those smaller notes. Please don't praise me. I'm just doing my small part to help out in this currency combat.

All this money talk is making me feel like studying Macedonian (probably because I know that it will lead to me getting a large signing bonus at my next job). Since I’m in the mood now, we should go over the Macedonian word of the blog. The word is:

пари (pari) - money

Speaking of пари, it’s time I start earning mine by going back to school (because we all know how instrumental I am in the proper running of the school). School started a couple of weeks ago, and entering the beginning of the school year made me think back on some of the good times I’ve had in the classroom with the students and my counterpart (the English extraordinaire. Seriously, this guy speaks English more good than I do).

This is unnecessary since 97% of the people that read this blog have probably met my counterpart in person.

It seems as though all of my favorite moments in school happened during the same week. I mean, any week where you get to flip off your students, stick your tongue out at them, and make a bunch of 18 year olds dance to “Head, Shoulders, Knees, & Toes” all in the name of education, is a good week at school.

Just like in America, there is a holiday at the beginning of the school year--Independence Day. It has been celebrated on September 8 since 1991 when Macedonia gained its independence from Yugoslavia. Instead of providing you with a thorough description of the celebrations that carry on throughout the day (since if I did that, there would be pretty much nothing to write about), I will inform you of another way to make money.

If you want to get in the kid making industry, Macedonia is the place to go. Due to the low fertility rates in certain regions of the country following the socioeconomic transition after Macedonia gained its freedom, the big man upstairs (no, not god. the guy that works upstairs in city hall) decided to start paying women that birthed multiple youngins (the PM talked about how successful this was in his Independence Day speech, which is why its being written about here. Just in case you were wondering where the hell this was coming from). Supposedly this was to keep their population from declining, but I’m pretty sure it was really just a ploy to make the big man upstairs pleased, if you know what I mean.

I don't know why, but this part always gets saved for last. It's time to talk about the English word that my host mom knows. The word that my mom knows is money. I know that I told you I wasn't going to make it the same as the Macedonian word of the blog again, but I'm lazy. You should have known it was gonna happen.

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Macedonia now airs live NFL games.

Stay classy world.