Battle of the Bills

The people of Macedonia are in a constant battle with their currency--the denar. The current exchange rate of the denar is roughly 54 to the dollar (in case you were wondering). That probably tells you something about the economy, but seeing all of those digits in my bank account sure does make me feel rich anyway.

There are 1, 2, 5, 10, and 50 denar coins that nobody ever wants to be in possession of. And if they do come into ownership of a few, their goal is to dump them on the first unfortunate individual they get the chance to. I won't lie, I've deliberately partook in this inane activity as well. But mostly in a positive way, I think, by paying with exact change when I can. Like everyone else, I am simply not a fan of the coins--except for the 50 denar coins. Those silver disks of denar are downright dope. Probably because you can actually buy something with them and you're not weighed down by carrying a battalion of coins with you. Plus, there's no jingle jangling going on in your pockets while you're walking, which some people may like but I'm not a big fan of. I find that it interferes with my ability to ninja.

Remember when I said there were 1, 2, 5, 10, and 50 denar coins? These are it.

The banknotes are even worse (not for ninjaing, for the currency battle). There are 10, 50, 100, 500, 1000, and 5000 denar notes. Nobody ever has anything larger than a 1000 denar note though. Actually, nobody ever has anything other than a 1000 denar note. And these people that carry around their 1000 denar notes are constantly trying to get change for it or obtain smaller notes in some conniving way. They'll buy a burek and small carton of yogurt (a common breakfast combination) for 70 denars and pay with a 1000 denar note. Then they expect the person behind the counter to have change for them, which they never do because I don’t know why. Still, people are always paying with these larger notes, which wrecks havoc on the tills at these establishments. The cashiers end up having to run around to a few stores in the area in order to get the necessary change to give the paltry patron.

Consider yourself lucky. Most people never see one of them there 5000s. I've only ever seen one myself.

For the customer, this is better than going to the ATM if you ask me. You get a product you want, plus you are able to get rid of a hefty 1000 denar note and gather a temporary collection of smaller bills (for your sake, hopefully there were no coins given to you with your change).

Unlike the coin situation, the practice of paying for excessively small purchases with excessively large bills is one that I do not participate in (except for at bus stations). Having seen the dire need for smaller bills, I usually only withdraw 100s and 500s from the ATM unless I'm expecting to spend over 1000 den somewhere. Boy, are people happy to see those smaller notes. Please don't praise me. I'm just doing my small part to help out in this currency combat.

All this money talk is making me feel like studying Macedonian (probably because I know that it will lead to me getting a large signing bonus at my next job). Since I’m in the mood now, we should go over the Macedonian word of the blog. The word is:

пари (pari) - money

Speaking of пари, it’s time I start earning mine by going back to school (because we all know how instrumental I am in the proper running of the school). School started a couple of weeks ago, and entering the beginning of the school year made me think back on some of the good times I’ve had in the classroom with the students and my counterpart (the English extraordinaire. Seriously, this guy speaks English more good than I do).

This is unnecessary since 97% of the people that read this blog have probably met my counterpart in person.

It seems as though all of my favorite moments in school happened during the same week. I mean, any week where you get to flip off your students, stick your tongue out at them, and make a bunch of 18 year olds dance to “Head, Shoulders, Knees, & Toes” all in the name of education, is a good week at school.

Just like in America, there is a holiday at the beginning of the school year--Independence Day. It has been celebrated on September 8 since 1991 when Macedonia gained its independence from Yugoslavia. Instead of providing you with a thorough description of the celebrations that carry on throughout the day (since if I did that, there would be pretty much nothing to write about), I will inform you of another way to make money.

If you want to get in the kid making industry, Macedonia is the place to go. Due to the low fertility rates in certain regions of the country following the socioeconomic transition after Macedonia gained its freedom, the big man upstairs (no, not god. the guy that works upstairs in city hall) decided to start paying women that birthed multiple youngins (the PM talked about how successful this was in his Independence Day speech, which is why its being written about here. Just in case you were wondering where the hell this was coming from). Supposedly this was to keep their population from declining, but I’m pretty sure it was really just a ploy to make the big man upstairs pleased, if you know what I mean.

I don't know why, but this part always gets saved for last. It's time to talk about the English word that my host mom knows. The word that my mom knows is money. I know that I told you I wasn't going to make it the same as the Macedonian word of the blog again, but I'm lazy. You should have known it was gonna happen.

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Macedonia now airs live NFL games.

Stay classy world.

Football, Christmas, and Other Things Worth Celebrating

The only way you can convince yourself that these next few paragraphs are still relevant enough to read is that football season is officially about to start again. Football is pretty much the only sport that I’ve continued to follow while I’ve been here. I wish I didn’t have to specify what I’m talking about when I say football, but I know that I need to. I don’t mean soccer and I don’t mean rugby. I mean good old American football.

I was watching the Ravens-Patriots game (now last season), and the link I found online was run by some channel called Sky Sports from the UK (completely not not illegal). Now I don’t have a problem with the UK showing NFL games on the telly, but I was really disappointed at the cast they had commentating. There was an English guy, a Canadian fellow, and a hack American football player (this guy named Moore that was a tight end for the Browns for a couple of seasons) commentating on the game. I mean, what the hell is a Hamilton Tiger-Cat anyway? “The Hamilton Tiger-Cats are a professional Canadian football team based in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, founded in 1950 with the merger of the Hamilton Tigers and the Hamilton Wildcats.”1 That’s what a Hamilton Tiger-Cat is.

The reason people that don't live in America call the sport American football is because it's American (it’s definitely not because the rest of the world calls football what Americans call soccer). I don't know what these Canadians and Brits are doing in a studio talking about football. The only good English football player I know of is Osi Umenyiora, and the best Canadian player in the league is probably Shaun Suisham and he's a kicker. I guess Canada does at least have that going for them because they have had a few good kickers and punters in the league over the years.

With that said, I’m pretty pumped about the upcoming season. Just don’t expect me to watch any streams of the games that are from Sky Sports because British or Canadian accents are not something that I wish to start associating with football.

You may have realized that the title mentioned something about Christmas. That’s because I wrote this back in January. There is a good reason I waited until this exact moment to post this, but I’ll let you fully consider that matter on your own time. Right now I don’t care to delve into that subject with you.

I will tell you the Macedonian word of the blog though. Christmas is a big holiday here. It is celebrated very differently than in the states. There is no exchanging of gifts or singing of Christmas carols. But families do gather together to break some bread (literally) and enjoy each other's company. The Macedonian word of the blog is:

Божиќ (boszik) - Christmas

I really gotta stop using ж in the words I choose.

There is one Christmas story that I want to share with you all. Here it is.

First of all, merry Christmas to everybody who I may have missed saying that to back in December. There is this person who shall remain nameless (because I don’t know this individuals name) existing in Kratovo that has a very rudimentary understanding of the Christmas tree. In all actuality, I’m sure that there are many individuals in Kratovo that share this basic comprehension of the Christmas tree, but there is only one person that I would like to call out on it.

Christmas trees simply do not belong on the roof of a vehicle. Not once, not thrice, but on two separate occasions I saw this. The first time I happened to witness this outlandish act, I was under the false impression that the tree was being transported home and it just happened to be decorated already. The second time, however, I was not so foolish. It was very apparent to me that the roof of the car is where this tree was intended to stand.

I was waiting at the bus stop on a blustery December afternoon, and I must have seen this car drive idly by at least three times while I was there. Kratovo has one main road that basically does a lap around the center of town, and it is my genuine belief that this individual was on an excursion around town solely to exhibit the captivatingly placed Christmas tree atop their vehicle.

That’s not the only weird thing you’d see around Kratovo though if you stuck around throughout the holiday season. The same people that think you will get sick if you go outside with wet hair after a shower, sit in a cold room with a t-shirt on instead of a sweater, not wear socks around the house, be in a place with 2 windows open or a window and a door open, drink a cold beer in the winter…sorry I started to get a little carried away there. Anyway, the same people that believe those things are the people that are perfectly fine with practicing the age old tradition of jumping into freezing cold water in the heart of winter to get a cross and win a television, a nice chunk of change, and bragging rights for the year. Plus, it is symbolic of Jesus being baptized.

I’ve never seen any religious practice carried out quite like this one. It goes down at many different locations (pools, rivers, lakes) on January 19th all around the country, and I’ve had the privilege of watching it in Kratovo the last two years. This most recent winter was quite frigid here in Macedonia so prior to the participants recklessly leaping into the town pool, inches of ice had to be ferociously chipped away to make space for this event to go down. What the funk!

On a more pleasant note, possibly one of the best practices of the wintertime is eating pastrmajlija. That thing I wrote about in my second post. Having pastrmajlija and gazoza (a "carbonated aromatised refreshing non-alcoholic drink with a pear aroma."2 I had to look that up because I wasn't sure how to describe it.)  early on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon is equivalent to Americans getting a few pizzas delivered and enjoying them at home with some coke (the cola kind, not cocaine. Unless you’re into that kind of thing, in which case...never mind.) and a movie.

That's what your average pastrmajlija looks like

That’s pretty much all I have to say about wintertime activities here.

I suppose I'll wrap this up with the English word that my host mom knows. There was a period where I spoke mostly English at home, and I was really surprised and pleased that we could actually have conversations with each other like that. She may not be able to say a great deal in English, but she can definitely understand a lot. Even now we still greet each other in English sometimes. Well, mostly I do that but she can. She'll say, "Hello. How are you?" And if I ask her, she can respond with "good" or "bad." She may know more English than I know Macedonian now.

Stay classy world.

Works Cited
1. "Hamilton Tiger-Cats." Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation. Web. 22 Jan. 2015.
2. "Gazoza." Prilepska Pivarnica. Prilepska Pivarnica. Web. 22 Jan. 2015.