The Next Post

I know it's been a while, but in all my excitement about ajvar, I completely forgot to rub it in your face that I went to Italy and Albania over my summer break (not that anybody even remembers what happened over summer at this point). They were pretty cool trips. That's all I want to say about that. Eh, I guess I could tell you some weird things about where I went. In Italy I spent most of my time in Venice. I'm sure you already know that there are pretty close to zero roads in Venice. Instead they use these fancy things called canals to get around (that was a dumb one). In Albania people hang up stuffed animals in unfinished houses to ward off evil spirits. And they are obsessed with watering the concrete. Gotta keep it clean, I suppose. Since I came up with two for Albania, I should probably come up with another one for Italy. Shops in Italy—especially restaurants—tend to be closed at random times throughout the day. What that is about, I have no idea, but it is a very sneaky tactic utilized by the shop owners to create a state of confusion among the simpleminded tourists. Really the only bad thing about it is that it can cause those doltish out-of-towners to become quite belligerent. Some of them even got so mad they walked away and went to another restaurant. It was out of control.

Over the summer, I also helped out at a few summer camps, which was pretty freakin' awesome. If I could, I would do that all year long. But I looked into it and unfortunately summer camps are only during the summer. Who knew? The kids at the camps I went to were great. They've got some pretty good heads on their shoulders (I should be clear that there is only one head per pair of shoulders. I know it sounded kinda weird the way I wrote it so I thought I'd clarify that just to make sure we're on the same page. A lot of you have never been to Macedonia before so maybe you think that a different type of person is bred here. I don't know what's going through you're head. I can't even figure what's going on in my head half of the time).

My boys and me from YMLP

I should preface this next part by saying that I'm kinda nervous about this whole situation (I don't expect this sentence to translate to Macedonian very well because most Macedonians use the word nervous when they really mean angry. So any Macedonians reading this might think that I'm angry and that's just silly). This might be why I've waited so long to put up another post. It could also be that I've had computer problems, but I already used that excuse before so I'd hate going to it again.  

Anyway, what I've been trying to say is that my host mom just started reading my blog (and by just, I mean she read my last blog post three months ago), so now I'm gonna have to be extra careful about what I say. When she read that my last post was all about ajvar, she asked where I learned how to make it and then told me that I wasn't allowed to write about ajvar unless I made some. I'm taking that as an official invitation to an ajvar making party. Now I know that it was an invitation to a day of ajvar making because I did end up helping a bit. At least as much as the women would let me. A bunch of pics were even staged so that it looked like I was the one doing all of the work, but all of those pictures have since been lost forever. I've never seen them anyway.

OK, I know they aren't in season anymore, but what's the deal with grapes? I tossed a grape into my mouth and started chewing without thinking, but instead of the sweet explosion that I was expecting, I bit into something hard. Crazy things were going through my mind. Has the middle of the grape miraculously been petrified? How did a rock get inside of my grape? Do insects have teeth, and how big are they if they do? Well, I looked into it a bit, and before I could find out whether insects had teeth or not, I discovered that grapes actually have seeds. They aren't nearly as cool as cherry seeds, which are the only fun seeds that come from a fruit as far as I'm concerned. I guess I've just been spoiled all of my life with seedless grapes.

Which leads me to my word of the blog. The word is:

грозје (grozye) - grape

Grapes are an important part of the culture here in Macedonia. Yes, people eat them, but I think more grapes are used for making вино (wine) and ракија (rakiya). Pакија is homemade liquor. It's usually between 40% and 50% alcohol and it's almost always accompanied by salad of some sort. Also, it's important that I add that it is drunk from shot glasses (or a reused plastic water bottle) but it is NEVER shot. There are so many other drinking rules when it comes to ракија but as long as you know not to shoot it, you'll be good. I guess you should also probably know that you're supposed to use your right hand for drinking ракија. Those two rules ought to do it.

I don't know why I'm throwing this in here, but it is happening. You know how when people say hello to answer the phone and then the person calling says hi back? Then because the answerer doesn't know where to go from there since they weren't the one that decided to pick up the phone and call someone, they give a second, more personalized hi to the person. So of course what does the caller do? They say hi again and then get on with the business of the call. That's four hi's where there should really be no more than one. Two tops. That's enough of this uselessness. Will you cut the malarkey (I had to throw a Dave Chappelle reference in there because nobody here ever gets them)!

You all already knew that my host mom could rap, but I bet you didn't know that she got her inspiration from old school classics. I was sitting alone in the living room and listening to the song "Three Little Indians" by Run-D.M.C. when my host mom came in. Now she's not a fan of any kind of rap or hip-hop so she wasn't feeling the song. But when she heard the words "father" and "mother" in the song, her ears perked up a bit. For the rest of the day she wouldn't stop saying those words around me. And that is how I know that she knows how to say those words. Other family members that she knows are brother, sister, and cousin.

Again, I don't know why I'm putting this in here. For some reason it was written down on this document so I guess I'll share it with you instead of deleting it. I would like to present some words of wisdom to the reading community out there. If you can't read, then you probably aren't smart enough to understand this anyway: People who don't use their head use their feet.

Stay classy world.