Unfortunately, that’s not necessarily one of the perks of being an expat because the moment people start speaking in the local language, my language skills are easily the worst in the room. My terrible Macedonian is most likely the reason my host mom learned so many of the English words she did. One of the words she says most frequently is “understand.” She’ll ask it at the end of a discussion to make sure that I have a vague idea of what she said, and I usually just say yes. She probably knows that, which is why I’m sure she messes with me sometimes by cursing at me or trash talking my hometown, but I wouldn’t know for sure because I never learned any curse words since I don’t have a potty mouth.
In contrast, one of the benefits (sometimes) of being a foreigner is that you are automatically cool and interesting. No matter how off-putting or weird you are, this is your chance to be the popular kid because everybody wants to know about you. They bombard you with conversation, touch your hair (because it’s a different color so it must feel different), and constantly ask about the way things are in America (I’ve come to dislike these questions because I just don’t know the answer. America was a long time ago).
Aside from finally knowing what it’s like to be popular, there was one other thing that I was able to cross off my bucket list during my time here. It doesn’t really have anything to do with being here, but I’m gonna write about it anyway.
A series of events transpired on a somewhat stodgy summer day—in fact, I think it was two summer days because nothing much got accomplished that first day—that led me one step closer to being an official adult. Although, I am still a few steps away from becoming a full-fledged grown-up, I am quite proud of my recent development. That development was updating my antiquated signature. To most of you, recreating your signature may sound idiotic. You may think ain’t nobody got time for that. But, yes, it seems that everybody do got time for that because I can't think of a single adult I know that still has the same signature they used when they handed in their math test to Mrs. Pelling in the 6th grade.
This brings me to the word of the blog. This word is not one that is used all that often, but when it is used, it is always important. The word is:
потпис (potpis) - signature
So now instead of asking people for their John Hancock (because that sounds…weird), you can ask for their potpis. Looking at it now, people may think you’re saying pot piss. That’s at least as weird as John Hancock, so maybe let's all just agree to say signature.Hmm, what else can I tell you about to help you procrastinate for a little while longer? You guys want to talk about manikins? Macedonia is renowned for its manikin population, at least among Peace Corps Volunteers. Macedonia humbly boasts the most diverse collection of manikins in the developing world. Maybe even the universe. You are more likely to see a manikin sporting a wig than clothing. They have obese manikins, toddler manikins, amputee manikins, and the list goes on. Some are appropriate, but many you wouldn’t see in the states. Just the other day, I saw a child manikin while walking through the mall in Skopje. It was wearing nothing but underwear and a belly shirt. It felt so wrong to look at it just standing there in the window so I had to look away. But the only thing there was to look away at was one of the topless nippled manikins. OK, this is getting uncomfortable. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up. Let’s change the subject.
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| One of the more normal manikins...on the right. |
So, how ‘bout that Barcelona-Madrid match the other day? Did anyone see that? I don’t know if I’ve said this before, but soccer is pretty much the go-to sport here for most athletes, so if you want to watch some live sports, most likely that’s gonna be the one.
A while back, I went to one of the soccer tournaments up at the high school. By the time I got there, there was standing room only. It seems the only thing Macedonians show up to on time are soccer games. It was fine though. I didn’t mind standing—at first. From this experience, I only have one piece of advice for anyone planning on attending a soccer match in Macedonia. Unless you like having sunflower seeds thrown on your shoes by a middle-aged man with a stout belly that presses more firmly against your forearm as the game progresses, you should sit.
How do you eat sunflower seeds? This is how to eat sunflower seeds Macedonian style, I think:
Step 1 - Hold the sunflower seed “hotdog style” between your thumb and index finger.
Step 2 - Keeping the sunflower seed in your fingertips, bite the end of the shell to crack it open.
Step 3 - Magic happens. I’ve never really mastered this step, but this is where the insides are supposed to fall into your mouth and you can discard the shell without ever putting it completely in your mouth.
Olives are eaten in a similar style as this, but that’s all I want to say about that.
Well, It’s rainy season again, which means that you need to start checking the seats and windows of buses before you sit down. If you make a hasty decision, it may be the wrong decision—that is if you appreciate staying dry during bus rides. With that reminder, I’ll leave you all.
My time as a PCV is done, and once I get over this stupid illness that decided to torment me during the final days of my service, I will be heading out on a trip to explore Europe. My first stops will be in Bulgaria, Romania, Moldova, and Ukraine before heading to Spain at the end of December. If any of you have plans to be anywhere in Europe in the next couple of months, let me know because I may be in the area.
Stay classy world.
